SHARING THE SHOWS
Read on if you’re wondering why a crumpled-up cup is the main photo for this post. I’d been looking forward to this evening for quite a while, particularly over the past week. And the last week of classes typically consists of a lot of “widespread panic” among students. But after a day of commenting on student final paper drafts, I was ready for some live music, an antidote to civilization. I met up with Pete at El Rey, a Mexican restaurant/bar, and the moment I walked in, I recognized it as the place Nicole and I met before my Lennon Claypool Delirium show (4/19/19). The service was fast, and my nachos were appropriately packed and greasy. I could have done without the loud group of 20somethings two tables over, but it was a good meal, and I hadn’t seen Pete in a while, so we caught up. He showed me his pictures from the Skull & Roses festival, as well as some West Coast hiking, including Joshua Tree National Park. I was living vicariously through him at that moment (damn work and Chester responsibilities). And after all those images I’ve built up in your head, here are some nachos: We got on line at about 7:20, where the conversation segued into the corporatization of live music venues: Northwell Health at Jones Beach, Wells Fargo Arena, the E! Centre. Gag. At least Hampton Coliseum and Madison Square Garden have their names intact.
We got in and continued the talk in the downstairs section before going up to see the opener, Lydia Loveless. I didn’t know anything about her and thought her name sounded like a folk rock artist, but she was more like angry country alternative. Her voice sounded inspired by Shania Twain and Alanis Morissette, true badass feminist rockers. Drive-By Truckers (DBT) came on promptly at 10:15; I don’t like that they started so late (what can I say? I’ve started to recognize my “early bird” tendencies). But the show was great. The room was packed, though Pete and I managed to find a spacious corner with enough room to move around. Pete and I assisted someone who was about to fall down before security escorted to them to (hopefully) receive medical attention. Other conversations/observations: some drunk dude whispered “I wanna dip out and get a cigarette but I don’t know if I can go for ten minutes.” Spoiler alert: he got his smoke in; I could smell the aroma. Security is tight about the cups we use for the free water. Someone got scolded for pouring the water into a beer cup; it’s supposed to go into a small one. I felt like I was engaged in subterfuge every time I poured my water into that big cup I got for my Diet Coke. I can’t identify most of DBT’s songs, but I heard “Marry Me” and “Steve McQueen.” Their lyrics are very left-leaning, which is quite badass given they’re from Georgia and spent time in Alabama. Southern Rock with a blue twist. I dig. By 12:15, the crowd thinned out and I could dance more easily, but I was spent and was thinking, Wrap it up! But the folks who stayed were into it. From what Pete told me, they went until about 12:40, and it was intense. They even got more political than usual (“Fuck fear!” Patterson Hood yelled. It was nice being at a show after the 48-day fast. Once home, I crashed out pretty easily while Chester claimed my stomach. All in all, a nice night.
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Concertgoing has been an integral part of my identity for a long time. It’s something I enjoy, but on a deeper level, it’s also been an elixir for some of the challenges I’ve faced. As a teenager, I had been dealing with some anger and trauma over feeling like I didn’t fit in with the mainstream world (I didn’t, and still don’t, although I can fake it now on some levels). On July 16, 1999, I attended my first Phish show at PNC Bank Arts Center I was transplanted into a world where “everything was alright.” The music gave me multiple skingasms, the people were friendly, and I was just grooving with the music.
For several years, this became a lifestyle. I spent my 20s working for corporate America and then getting a teaching degree, and the shows continued to be a major part of my lifestyle. In my 30s, I moved to the west Texas town of El Paso to earn a Ph.D. Ironically, El Paso didn’t see a lot of the jambands. While I still listened to the music, I felt myself “maturing,” and when I attempted to see Phish at Madison Square Garden for a New Year’s show (12/28/11), I just felt silly. In the meantime, I developed non-musical interests to offset the stress that came with a Ph.D. (running, tennis, hiking in the Franklin and Organ Mountains). And I finished my Ph.D. in four years, the optimal time to do so. Cut to August 2014, when I moved to Hampton, Virginia for my first academic job. I’ll dispel the stereotype that we professor folk just sit around discussing classic literature while we primp our leather patch-adorned tweed blazers and smoke pipes. There’s a lot of tedious, mind-numbing paperwork, not to mention bureaucratic red tape. And the emails. Oh, those emails! So when I met Dave at a social for my apartment and he invited me to see an Allman Brothers tribute band called Skydog at Hoss’s Deli, my answer was a resounding yes! That was the night I met Maggie, Mark, and Gary, who would soon become close friends and show buddies. Maggie and I, in particular, with her friend Russell, would head up to Williamsburg nearly every Friday night to see a local band called Blind and Dirty. Dancing to those tunes was an antidote to the stress I was dealing with at work, and thanks to the shows, I developed this blog, which led me to establish a regular writing practice, which, in turn, led me to publish my book, How to be a Happy Bachelor. And it helped me keep balance, which I’m pretty sure led me to getting promoted to Associate Professor (I remember spending many late nights in my office putting together the binder I needed to get this promotion, the sounds of Phish, the Dead, String Cheese Incident, and Lettuce, among others, providing the soundtrack). Cut to August 2021. We’d spent nearly a year and a half in lockdown, and I’d moved to Washington, DC for a better job opportunity. As an introvert, I was one of those people who, when they told us to “stay home,” thought, what’s the catch? While I did some exploring of my area outside, I felt isolated; I was in a brand new city, and my outlets for meeting people were nonexistent. Overtime, this isolation exacerbated my anxiety. Then, on July 31, 2021, I saw a Grateful Dead tribute called Better Off Dead at the Pearl Street Warehouse. As the music played, I danced, and after a few songs, I felt like Bart Simpson when he got his soul back. I even met a cool dude named John, who’d I hang with at a few other shows. As shows continued their return, I went down a huge rabbit hole of show after show. Pete, whom you’ve seen a lot of on this blog, has become my best show buddy here. The fact that I only have to take a subway to get to places like the Anthem and the 9:30 Club only adds to their appeal. There was that five-night run of Widespread Panic shows at NYC’s famed Beacon Theater bookended by those Phish shows in Philly and Jones Beach. And two separate overnight trips to NYC to see Phish and Phil Lesh. And the trip to Philly for NYE to see moe. with my new friend Shana. Eventually, going to all those shows felt more like a job. There wasn’t an exact turning point, but the feeling was gradual. I realized it when I had to miss a Greensky Bluegrass show due to catching COVID and, while I was a tad bummed, my sadness level was at a two out of ten. At that point, I decided to go for a period without shows, sort of like Lent. I’m not Catholic, but I do like the idea of giving something up for a period of time (I did it one year with pasta, another with chocolate). Pete and I had already gotten tickets for the Drive-By Truckers show for April 29, and there was the Great Northern – out of DC show March 11. I figured 4/20 would be the ending point, and maybe I could squeeze in a free/cheap show between that point and Drive-By Truckers. So from this point on, I’ll catalogue the things I do on the nights I actively avoid shows. March 18 Dancing Bears, a regional Dead tribute, played at the Anthem. I could have gone to that one, but 9 p.m. is a bit late for me these days, and since Great Northern (a band I frankly like better), was playing, I decided to forgo this one. On this evening, I went to a Meetup for Childfree (as opposed to childless) Singles in the DMV area which I organized. We went to Donsak Thai, a new Thai restaurant in Woodley Park. It was scheduled for two hours, but we were done in one. We had good conversation, but everybody was ready to go after dinner (Chris Rock was right: we single folk tend to finish our food quickly. We don’t like to just lollygag around, wasting our time with dessert and coffee). And as an introvert, I love it. Sometimes, conversations just tend to go on and on with large groups. After dinner, I watched a movie called Butter, which had a good message about being true to who you are (even if the characters were a bit thinly drawn). And (spoiler alert) the “romantic subplot” ended with the protagonist and romantic interest being friends, which is always a plus in my book. The next morning, I was up at 8 a.m. If I’d gone to that Dancing Bears show, I would’ve been up until about 2:30 and not gotten up until about 10, or if I’d gotten up at 8, I’d be spent. But I was full of energy. I had planned on hiking with a Meetup group, but when I saw it was 28 degrees out, I passed. But I did some chores around the house and wrote a bunch. March 24 Today, I had the pleasure of traveling to Niagra Falls, NY to present at the National Modern Language Association Conference (NeMLA). In this case, it was a study I helped conduct on how singles actually thrived during COVID-19. Last year, I followed my presentation with Shout at the Devil and Fade to Black (Motley Crue and Metallica tribute bands, respectively) at the Baltimore Soundstage. I love to “collect” new venues, and the phrase, “It doesn’t count if it’s in a different area code” echoed through my mind. But…I wanted to stick to the plan. I had a great day at the conference, mentoring a young job-seeker, attending two enlightening talks, giving one, making connections with my fellow presenters, and having dinner with my friend/co-organizer Elizabeth at the famed Anchor Bar where I enjoyed a beef on weck with a side of fries and wings, as well as some deep conversation around Singles Studies (conversation I treasure). Had I opted for one of the shows, I would have felt rushed during dinner, plus Ubers going to and from them would have been expensive. I was happy to get back to my Airbnb at 9:30 and chill out with some Netflix. Conferences and shows are both exhausting. Here were my options: 1) Sophistafunk at Buffalo Iron Works – This is a funk/hip-hop group. 2) Unplugged at The Town Ballroom – This Buffalo-based group plays acoustic versions of 90s hits from artists like Pearl Jam, Alanis Morissette, and Alice in Chains. I listened to them on YouTube and concluded that Katy Perry and Lady Gaga don’t really fall into what they promise. 3) Classic Stones Live at the Riviera – All the way out in Totawanda? I dig the Stones, but not enough to head all the way out there. 4) Scarlet Begonias at the McGarret – The name speaks for itself. This was tough. But my decision was made when I saw them on YouTube. They played their titular song competently enough, but they paled in comparison to On the Bus, Great Northern, Last Fair Deal, Suggesting Rhythm, and of course, Tampa’s Uncle John’s Band. And it would have been a 35-minute Uber ride each way, and I learned Ubers are hard to get here (two cancelled on me just to take me from the Convention Center to my Airbnb). And it’s not like I’ve never seen a Dead cover band before. I was glad to have kept it simple, and it was nice being able to get back to my Airbnb at 9:30 and mini-binge watch (two episodes) of Netflix’s You, that dark show about a love-obsessed serial killer. A good way to wind down. April 1 Ahhhh, April Fool’s Day, the day I change my relationship status on Facebook to “In a Relationship” and then laugh about it. On this particular April Fool’s Day, a Dead cover band called the Wharf Rats was playing at the Barking Dog in Bethesda. This is actually a hot dog restaurant, so having a hot dog between sets might have been nice. But, instead, I binged on Daisy Jones and the Six, which had a lot of good music in itself. But more importantly, I was able to get up early the following morning with no struggle to go on a hike with a Meetup group. We hit Dumbarton Oaks Garden in the Georgetown area; while not an intense hike, there was still some great scenery, and I had good conversation with some cool folks. Had I been partying at the show, getting up and getting down there would have been a far greater challenge. April 16 Today is Emancipation Day, a DC holiday that celebrates the day Washington, DC abolished slavery (April 16, 1862). Normally, a show would have added to the three-day weekend, and I think one of the local Dead cover bands played at some place around here, but as I’m writing this, I’m just not motivated to do so. However, I did a little pang of dopamine last night. As I was writing a personal essay, I happened to glance on YouTube (I know, a distraction) and I saw that Phish was cool enough to place their set openers from their Seattle shows on. I clicked, and “A Wave of Hope” filled my laptop’s speakers. I found myself dancing and spinning around my workspace; I find there are benefits to doing that, such as not having to box anyone out of your space like you would at a show. I was looking forward to seeing Phish at MSG this summer, but now that excitement is tenfold. April 23, 2023 As I write this, I’m on Day 43 of my 40-day fast. On Thursday, April 20, the Wharf Rats played at a Rockville venue called Hank Dietle’s Tavern, a place I have yet to frequent. But, it was Day 40, and it would have been a shame to break the streak on the last day. Besides, I was giving a work-related presentation the next day, and while I have presented the morning after a concert on several occasions, it was nice to just chill out the night before. The talk went well. Last night, Stealing Liberty played a show at Silver Strings in Silver Spring. I didn’t feel compelled to go, especially since I have Drive-By Truckers with Pete planned for next Saturday. To bookend with another Simpsons reference, It felt like the final scene in Duffless, the episode where Homer gives up beer for thirty days. At the end of it, rather than breaking his “fast” with a trip to Moe’s, he elects to spend the time with Marge. I felt the same way; I can go to a show anytime, but tonight, I just feel like chilling out at home. Friday, May 5 is also Get the Led Out, a Led Zeppelin tribute I’ve heard of but never seen. And as a new measure, with a few exceptions, I’m not going to see a show more than two weekends in a row. Exceptions may be made for the summer or for my top three groups: Phish, Widespread Panic, String Cheese Incident. But this afternoon, I was able to hike a section of Rock Creek Park with a Meetup group I hadn’t hung with before. And I wasn’t weary from the night before. Overall Reflections This fast has been good for me. I may just do it every year. Since the fast started, I haven’t felt compelled to go to every single Dead cover band (and there are many in the DC area). They’re enjoyable, and a couple of them do stand out (On the Bus, Suggesting Rhythm, Last Fair Deal, Uncle John’s Band) but after a while, they start to blur together. And why would I want to go to every single Dead cover band when I can preserve my energy for larger acts once in a while (Drive-By Truckers, for example)? And the shows from the real Dead are fun to listen to. In the time of my fast, I’ve started writing a weekly movie review of a pro-singlehood flick; it channels my love of writing, movies, and Singles Studies (I used to write movie reviews for my junior high school newspaper). I’ve also been doing quite a bit of hiking and met some new people in local Meetup groups for hikes. And it felt good saying no to some shows; as fun as they are, planning around them can be constricting sometimes. I will be going to shows again. But I have a more centered attitude post-fast. We’ll see how it develops through future posts. April 28, 2023 It’s Friday. I’m looking forward to Drive-By Truckers tomorrow night! And it’s been a week with widespread panic on campus, so the timing couldn’t be more perfect. |
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